


If Tomorrow be Sweet

by entwinedloop



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fantasy, Grief/Mourning, Groundhog Day, Parallel Universe, Starting Over, but it may be a close feeling for some, some characters may or may not exist here so not exactly major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entwinedloop/pseuds/entwinedloop
Summary: The kids are spending the day with Annie and Beth has the day all for herself. It’s planned out with the usual errands and what needs catching up on, and as she sips on her coffee she relishes in the flavor, as comforting and familiar as it was the day before. It’s just another Saturday.Something’s not right though, and then another. But that doesn’t make sense. Everyone’s acting like they always do – all save but one. With increasing alarm Beth turns to each person she trusts as she desperately tries to figure out what’s happening. The one person she doesn’t want to go to, though, may be the only one with some answers.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	If Tomorrow be Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> A/U A paintbrush of fantasy / parallel universe. As far as canon timeline goes, this would’ve taken place post s2e2 if it was streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetched out for some months.

She inhaled the rich heavy aroma of her coffee. Lately she’d started trying out different blends and fell in love with this one immediately. Sharp and strong with a hint of cocoa. Made in Bolivia. Whenever she smelled it she thought of mornings. There was something soft about them. Soothing. The start of the day. At times she even caught the sunrise as the skies augmented into dark then light blue, sitting at the island, enjoying a quiet moment with herself before the flurry and flood of the kids going back and forth between the kitchen to the bathroom and the their rooms to grab something they forgot.

Maybe she could get a few things done too while the kids spent the day with Annie. Saturday adventure with auntie Annie. Ben went along too, so it was good they had a chaperone to watch over everyone, Beth had teased her sister. She loved watching her sister with her kids though, loved how Annie entertained their questions and stories. How she easily found a common language with each of her five kids.

Washing her mug out, her eyes caught on a picture on the fridge. Mountains and a car, their last trip up north. Emma’s name was scrawled over the bottom. Drying her hands she walked over to it, glancing automatically at the list of groceries and the month’s calendar with kids’ appointments, Ruby and Stan’s anniversary party invitation. Their present was already tucked away in the closet down the the hall.

Emma must’ve put it up yesterday, though it was a month old. Strange that she didn’t remember it, but then three of them drew all the time. Still, it wasn’t like Emma not to share a picture she’d drawn the same day she’d done it. This one must’ve meant a lot.

"I still don’t know what to get him,” Ruby said.

Beth set her phone on speaker and put it down, picking up her hairbrush and running it through her hair. “Yes, you do. You were going to make a record--”

"Stan’s already doing it.”

Beth stared at her phone. “What do mean?”

“Harry let it slip. Had me pinky swear three times I wouldn’t tell Stan.”

Beth shook her head. “Oh no,” then smiled. Stan and Ruby surprising each other with the same anniversary gift. It’d only surprise her if it didn’t.

“I told you,” she said, putting her hairbrush down. “Take a weekend. Just the two of you. You can bring the kids here,” She reminded Ruby of her offer.

“Where are you going to fit them?”

“We have sleeping bags and air mattresses,” Beth put her hands on her hips, staring at her phone as if Ruby was standing in front of her. As if her best friend didn’t know exactly what she kept at her house. She took her phone off speaker and held it to her ear. “The kids will make too much popcorn. The three Musketeers will announce to everybody they’re going to stay up until everyone else goes to sleep and end up falling asleep on the couch before anyone else does.”

“The three stooges,” Ruby said, affection in her voice, and Beth laughed. “Are you sure?” She asked gently.

“Yes,” Beth said, making a mental note to check she had everything in her purse, grabbing keys.

“Are you heading out?” Ruby asked, maybe hearing the clanging.

“Yeah. Just running some errands.” She’d done enough work for Wayne State the last few days just so she could take a break today.

“Do you have Sara’s book? I meant to come and pick it up and I forgot."

“Oh yes,” Beth changed directions, heading for the kids’ rooms. “I can drop it off at the diner.”

“Actually, if you’re out the door, do you mind bringing it to Sharon’s Umbrellas? I’m going to be there in a few minutes anyway.”

“Sure. Is that easier?” Beth searched Danny’s library, finding it. “It’s not a problem for me to meet you at work.” She’d put it aside already but Danny had wanted to reread it again when Beth and Ruby didn’t end up meeting up. Beth had ordered it weeks ago but it was still not delivered.

“Yes. Yes,” Ruby said hurriedly.

Beth put the book in her purse.

* * *

“Something to get you going for your shift?” Beth smiled.

Ruby shook her head. “It’d help, right.” Her eyes went to the drink options above the bar, like she was thinking over her options.

It was a little early, even for them. Not that it was something they’d never done before, but the last time was probably decades ago. Except that one time that is.

“Oh,” Beth took out the book and passed it to Ruby. When she’d arrived at Sharon’s store Ruby had waved her over from the corner, saying she needed to make a quick stop at the bar.

“I just needed to pick some things up from Stan. Thanks,” Ruby said as a woman approached her with a couple plastic bags. Ruby opened them for Beth to peek in as she saw a tall man approach them from the corner of his eyes.

“Hi baby,” Rio said, Beth’s stomach sinking at the pet name as she resisted stepping back from him as he stepped too close. He never talked to her like that, not in front of Ruby or Annie. He lowered his face to hers and captured her lips in his. Her eyes flew open as Rio held the kiss. His warm hands stayed on her face once he broke it, Beth in shock, watching him slowly lift his head and search her face.

She pulled away, her mouth opening and closing, her eyes flying to Ruby who watched them with equal parts warmth and discomfort.

She wasn’t sure, but that didn’t make sense either. “What--?” Beth started, not liking how shaky her voice sounded. She cleared her throat, trying to recover as Rio gently drew the back of his hand over her cheek.

“What’re the kids up to?” He asked, withdrawing as Beth froze, then opened and closed her mouth.

Rio exchanged looks with Ruby and strolled away from her back to the bar. Motioning for them to join, Ruby waved her hand with a no, Beth putting her hand out in confusion. She glanced around her, back at Ruby, as if waiting for a cue, only finding Ruby giving her a big smile.

“He wanted to surprise you.”

Beth shook her head, not getting it.

“It’s too early for our anniversary sweetheart, but it’s tradition,” Rio called out from his seat.

Ruby laughed at Beth’s frown as her phone beeped. She turned the screen on, punching a few buttons.

“I gotta go. Have fun!” She hugged Beth, who still could barely say a word as she quickly made her way out the door. She watched her walk away, still feeling Rio’s lips on hers, trying to make any sense of anything that had happened in the last five minutes.

When her face turned back to Rio his head was nestled in his hand, his eyes on her. He patted the bar stool beside him.

Her shoes clicked on the wooden floor as she slowly stepped towards him, not saying a word, stopped beside the bar stool. It couldn’t be a dream, she couldn’t be dreaming. But nothing else explained what had happened.

“What tradition?” She asked.

“Got you your drink.” Rio motioned towards the glass of clean whiskey sitting in front of her, a napkin sitting beside it.

“It’s ten in the morning,” she scoffed.

He didn’t reply, sipping on his glass.

“What are you doing?” Annoyed, she slapped her hand on her thigh. “Why am I here?”

It was strange that she knew enough that they didn’t meet like this but something about it felt familiar, felt like she’d done this before. But they worked together. That’s what they were, and that was mostly unpleasant.

He didn’t answer though, didn’t even seem to hear her, just looked down at his drink as he swirled it in his glass.

“This is – some kind of prank?” She asked, her eyes taking in the bar, as if expecting Annie and Ruby to jump behind one of the booths.

“Nah.”

“What am I doing here?”

“We’re celebrating,” he met her gaze. His eyes were tired.

Beth lowered her head sharply, gesturing for him to continue.

Rio angled his glass to the side. “Who am I, Elizabeth?”

Beth frowned, putting her hand out. What kind of a question was that? “You’re…”

“Yeah?”

“The guy we work with.”

“For.”

Whatever. She exhaled, dropping her hand, not responding.

“What do you do?” He asked. Barely giving her time to answer, he continued. “What business do I run?”

“We-” She started to answer and her mind went blank. A coldness rushed from her chest outwards as she tried not to panic that no paths connected. She couldn’t remember. The swish of the beer as the bartender poured it from the tap filled her ears as she and Rio stared quietly at each other.

She didn’t remember. She didn’t remember anything. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“I think I’m going to...” She stepped back, keeping her eye on him.

“I’ll be here,” he said, already turning back to his empty glass, pulling hers next to it.

Her eyes blinked against the harshness of the bright sun. She just had to breathe. That’s all, that’s all she had to do. Even though she couldn’t remember, didn’t know what work she did with Rio but was certain they did work, even though she knew he would never greet her with a kiss, she knew who Ruby was. She recognized this street, recognized the stores. She knew who she was, her address, the date, who was President. Her kids names, their birth dates, their ages. Her breathing slowed down as she grounded herself.

She resisted turning back to the bar, feeling Rio looking after her as she stood outside, stepping aside as a woman passed by her. She had to get back home, she’d start from there. The answer would be there. She knew it.

* * *

Setting her bag down on the counter, she hurried to the bedroom. Items sat on the nightstand on the side opposite of hers. A watch, the book he’d been reading, nail clipper. All that had been missing when she’d stepped out of it that morning. Too focused on her their dressers, she walked over to them, pulling each drawer out, pulling clothes, only finding a white or brown bottom. It wasn’t here. She started pulling socks out of the final drawer, sure she’d recover it. It was there.

Her planner. She kept a large planner. She set to each room, even looking in the kids rooms, where she was sure she didn’t keep it. It was gone, like it hadn’t existed, like she didn’t sit on her bed three days ago and write in. Appointments. PTA-- meetings? Her calendar was right there on the kitchen, the one she’d surveyed that very morning. Why’d she need another one?

If she’d find just one word on that large monthly planned she’d remember. That was clear to her. Remember exactly the work she did with Rio. Remember exactly to fill the chasmed gap in her memory.

She glanced at her hand. She hadn’t noticed it before but then she hadn’t seen it. A silver band. A wedding ring. Rio had said an anniversary. She rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes.

Another man. There was another man. Opening her eyes she got up and paced out of her bedroom, with no direction in mind, walking through to the dining room, and kitchen, and towards the front door.

“Hey sis,” Annie answered the phone. “You and barfriend better not be on your way to Bermuda already.”

“What?”

“Ruby told me he was going to surprise you. Forget the errands when you and hubs finally got a minute alone.”

“What do you mean, my husband?” Beth blurted out before she could stop herself.

“What do you mean,” Annie sing songed the question back to her. “Is there a new term you’re using now? Cause the whole better half came out real funny when it came from you.”

She had to have had a concussion. Her eyes went around Danny and Marcus’s room.

“Yeah, Marcus really wants to talk with you. Wait – wait he’s gone again.”

Beth glanced down again, fingering her wedding ring.

“Mommy?” Marcus’s small voice came through the phone.

“Yes, sweetie. Are you having fun?” Beth asked hesitantly.

“Yes! I just won a tiger! Annie’s gonna send you a picture.”

Marcus went on to tell in great detail how she won the tiger in one of the booths, Beth sitting on his bed as she listened.

“OK,” Annie said in the background. “Why don’t you try to get auntie a lion so your mom can go back to your dad OK?”

Marcus called out a quick bye before shuffling sounds filled Beth’s ear.

“OK. Did you want anything else? I’m being pulled… Where? Where are we going? Lady Fortune? You know, I'd rather not know--” She spoke to someone else.

“Yeah, I’ll talk with you later,” Beth ended the call.

She laid back on the small bed, pulled a small toy plane under her back. What was going on? It was like everyone else had lost their minds and only she knew something was wrong. Why would Rio kiss her like he did it every day of his life? Why would no one think it’s a delusion to think she and him were – were…

“I’ll be here,” he’d told her. Beth sat up. His touch was affectionate, gentle. But guarded. And somehow… Dejected. He was the only one who hadn’t sounded – who had sounded exasperated at her. Asked her dully who he was.

Beth groaned loudly. She really, really, really didn’t want to do this.

* * *

“She’s back,” Rio said into his glass as the door as the bar closed behind her.

“What did you do?” She called out, a few patrons turning to look at her as her steps quickened towards him. He was still sitting in the same seat.

If there was anyone else she could go to, anyone else who was left, she’d go there. But there was no one.

“You know what’s going on,” she stopped in front of him.

Too many times he wished he didn’t.

“You wanna stop scaring away my customers?”

Beth met the eyes of a couple sitting a few tables away, eyeing her with curiosity.

Beth sat down, leaving a stool between them.

“Where’s Dean? What did you do to him?”

Rio put down his glass, and put his arms on the counter, watching her quietly. The pit in Beth’s stomach grew as he didn’t speak.

“He’s not here.”

It didn’t make sense but she still a part of her believed him. She put her hand on the counter. “What--”

He leaned forward, picked up something and put it in front of her. Her yearbook.

“Look him up,” he said.

Beth quickly searched through the papers, finding her, Ruby, Stan. As, Bs, Cs… No Boland.

“I don’t understand,” She pushed the yearbook away.

“I think you do.” 

“He doesn’t exist?” Her eyes moved from the yearbook to Rio's.

He hmmed at her.

The bartender walked over, putting down two plates of food in front of her. Reaching to a glass he filled it with water. Though her stomach growled at the sight, she glanced questioningly at Rio.

Rio tightened and released his shoulders. “D’you eat anything today?”

What had she had, a couple of granola bars? Through the shock her mouth still watered at the sight of it. Giving in, Beth picked up her fork and dug in the pasta, taking a few bites.

“So the kids?” She asked carefully as she sipped on some water.

“Their ours.”

Beth coughed the water back in her glass.

Rio just met her eyes wordlessly, waiting.

“But they don’t look-- wouldn’t they--?” Dean’s features that had been clear moments ago took less sharpness, less detail, but she still knew he and Rio were different enough.

“They look the way you remember them. Figure it’s not to get you going too much. Jane did too to me.”

“Jane?”

“Yeah. She was just mine.” Or maybe it was Marcus? It didn’t matter. They were all his, he reminded himself.

Jane had felt like hers like all of them, Beth thought possessively.

“We have five kids?!” Beth blurted out, the bartender eying her as he dried another glass.

She’d woken up knowing that, recognized all the kids in the photos but… It had been four really, hadn’t it?

“If we could skip this…” He said, and she wasn’t sure if it was more to himself than her.

They’d already had the conversation thousands of times. It had to be thousands. He couldn’t have it again, he told himself when he’d get up each morning.

At first it was months. Months that he’d been indirect. He’d given hints big and small, he’d tried to send her on equivalent of mind scavenger hunts, and more often than not she’d not even get anywhere before the sun was already starting to come down. A waste of time that had long stopped being remotely entertaining.

So he tried to change his strategy. If it meant he could stop this purgatory, if that was the price he’d pay, he’d be honest, just tell her what was going on. Even if nothing felt natural about it, though it had before. And the first month he did that, he got tired of it too, because she’d shut down, walk away from him. Who said that honesty with her was going to be easy?

He’d had some fun with it too, flirt, caress her hair, her face, and watched her lose her mind. When it was in front of her kid sister or best friend, the better. But it was no good if he was stuck in a perpetual loop.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew. The moment she’d remember everything he’d forget it all and they could get on with their lives. He already accepted it.

“How did you do this?” She asked, setting her fork down. She’d forced herself to finish her food, able to do it because she really had been that hungry.

“Now why do you think I’d do this?” He cradled his head in his hand.

Beth’s mind flashed with an understanding.

“We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we?”

For the first time that day, some relief washed his face as he nodded. They’d finally gotten somewhere.

Yes, they have. Too, too many times.

But all he said was, “Ready for that drink now?”

* * *

“I think I’m – I think I’m losing my mind,” Beth whispered.

She had stopped by the diner, asked to speak with Ruby who invited her to take a seat and asked to take an early break. She didn’t know who else to go to, who else she could trust to hear her.

“What’s going on?” Ruby mirrored her, leaning forward, and Beth took a deep breathe. She’d never ask for help, never go to anyone, never admit anything but she had no choice.

“I just woke up today, I got ready, took a shower, went through my phone, had coffee,” Beth stalled, Ruby nodding patiently. “I had my day planned out.”

Ruby waited, shaking her head when Beth didn’t continue.

“Do you know… Do you know who Dean is?” Beth spoke even softer so Ruby was inches away from her, as if sharing a secret.

Ruby shook her head, her expression blank. Beth’s stomach sank.

“I… I mean in high school,” she narrowed her eyes, finding comfort in the warmth of her mug. “he was in the same school--”

Ruby frowned as if trying to remember. “Was he in chemistry?”

Beth shook her head. What classes was Dean in? She couldn’t remember, unable to picture him anywhere but the cafeteria. And even that was a distant image, fading each time she tried to conjure it, the only remaining memories just words, not accompanied by any pictures.

“Who – who did I go with to junior prom?” Beth asked, her hands growing too hot.

“You went alone. Remember, you went with me and Stan.”

Her in a red dress, Stan and Ruby in a suit and Ruby in a long flowing green number. They had a blast and she’d asked Chad to dance but--

“What about him?”

Beth’s drew her hands from her mug, her palms red.

“I just-- remember him.” Beth glanced out her window.

“And?”

Beth shook her head. “I remember being married to him,” she said quickly, her eyes closed. “We live in the same house,” her eyes opened, “the kids go to the same schools.”

Ruby knotted her eyebrows in confusion. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” Beth tapped her fingers on her mug. “I know, it doesn’t make sense. I’m not crazy. I just don’t remember!”

Ruby nodded gently.

“Did me and Rio?" Beth started. "Did we ever work together?”

Ruby tilted her head. “You mean with the kids, on a school project?”

Beth shook her head.

“You help out at the bar sometimes. But you don’t really have time with teaching.”

Beth nodded confidently. Of course, not with her being a profess--

She blinked.

“Do you want me to take my shift off?” Ruby asked. “We can talk. Actually I don’t-- I don’t know if I can get off but I can maybe take off early--”

Beth shook her head. “No, no, it’s OK. I’ll call you later.”

She wanted to say it to someone. Just wanted to confess. At least Ruby was going to listen to her. But she didn’t have to ask if she believed her. Would she have believed Ruby?

* * *

The breeze cut through her jacket. If she wasn’t wearing the sweater she’d chosen she’d be chilly. Laughter and chatter blew with it, carrying from pockets of children and adults nestled around the park. Unable to carry on with anything on her list, she’d ended up here , unsure why. It was the most familiar.

“You made it,” Rio leaned against the back of the bench. Beth blinked up at him before looking away and staring ahead.

“I’m starting to forget,” she admitted with annoyance, spitting the words out quickly before she’d lose her nerve. “Who I am – was.” She couldn’t keep up.

“How’s that working out?”

“Great,” she said dryly, masking her fear.

“That happens,” Rio glanced downwards. “The more you forget, you remember. Your life here.”

She didn’t want to forget. Didn’t want to forget who she was.

Were they happy? Slowly she had gotten the courage the peek through the photos on her phone. They seemed to be. The kids jumping on Rio, Beth and Rio hugging with their kids making faces at the camera, at them, Rio kissing Beth on her cheek and Beth smiling big and wide at the camera. The kids standing in bathing suits each with holding an ice cream cone except for Emma who just crossed her arms and smiled, two of her teeth missing. That was real, right? It had to happen?

What about before, it nagged her. What happiness was she giving up?

“Did Ruby call you?” She asked as she watched kids swing higher and higher, toddlers chase each other around a see saw. Her phone had beeped a few times and she saw he’d texted her but didn’t check.

“Yeah.”

Guess she’d call Stan too. The fates had a good sense of humor.

“Do we always end up here?”

“Nah,” Rio sat next to her, keeping some distance. “Sometimes I don’t find you at all,” He crossed his leg over the other.

It’s not like he hadn’t tried to stop her from finding him either. Those days that he needed a break. Keeping away in the same city wouldn’t do much. She’d usually find him at some point. Bring up this guy’s name every single time. If he didn’t have to hear that name for the rest of his life it wouldn’t be too soon.

Sometimes he’d break down and want to get out. But he couldn’t leave without his kids and he didn’t want to take them away from their mom, but after six or seven months, he couldn’t take it anymore. If he’d leave her a note and a number she’d call him, he justified it to himself. He’d make some excuse to the kids. It was a surprise, they’d meet their mom there. It was only Kenny he really had to give any explanation to appease him. But it didn’t matter. As soon as he closed his eyes he’d always open them back in the city, as if they’d never fallen asleep in a hotel out of town. They’d be back in Detroit.

“Sometimes I get up next to you,” he told her.

He had stopped doing that. The first morning he’d done it was when he was sure he’d gotten through, that she’d remember. Though he enjoyed her responses the next morning, that grew tiring too.

Beth wrung her hands. “Wake up next to me tomorrow.”

“That a demand or a request?” He asked dryly, and she wondered how many times she’d asked that of him before.

It was hard enough to just say the words. “Whatever will get you to do it,” she said with resignation.

“OK, darling,” he smiled.

He turned his hand hand over, palm up. Her eyes met his, saw the expression in them. Daring her. Resigned, she took it.

“How do you know? No one else does.” The child in the swings was laughing, a man pushing her as she closed her eyes as her feet leaped in the air. “Did you come from where I did too?”

“No. But I got some of his memories. That’s what happens. What should happen. If someone doesn’t remember, they get help.”

“OK, but who helped you?”

“I don’t remember.”

He remembered the feeling around it, a strange kind of annoyance, but no memory of who it was, beyond that it was someone he knew. It didn’t matter. For all he knew it was someone who just wore a familiar face to put him at ease. Unlike Beth, he didn’t have a whole lot of questions. He just wanted his life back.

“Don’t tell me I meet you in every – parallel world,” she said in consternation.

Rio smiled widely. “There’s an infinite number of universes and we meet in every one.”

“Really?”

Rio shook his head. “Nah.”

Beth tried to pull her hand away and Rio held it back.

“Those are the ones I’m happy in though,” he smiled at her sheepishly, pouting, and she huffed and tried to pull her hand away again, wanting nothing more than to chase the infuriating warmth that bloomed in her stomach at his words. Words not new, ones steeped in history.

“Will you stop it?” She snapped. “What happens if I never remember?” She asked one of the questions gnawing at her the most.

Rio huffed noisily beside her. “The clock resets every morning.”

“If I remember this--” Beth motioned around them. “What’ll happen to you?”

“When you forget who you were, I do too.”

Not that he didn’t entertain, hell relish, the thought of her chasing him down around town, having to convince him that they were married and had five kids between them. That alarm he’d felt from her, the exhaustion. He wouldn’t wish that on someone else. Even her.

“Don’t look like that,” he said. “Had to give up a life of crime for this.”

“You?” She looked him up and down.

“Was good at it too.”

She squinted her eyes, vaguely remembering. Her calendar. Drops. Blood. Cash.

“What about Marcus’s mom?”

“You’re his mom,” he said confidently, subtle exasperation under it.

He’d forgotten, Beth thought with a mixture of heartbreak and surprising affection. He’d forgotten Marcus’s real mom. But she wasn’t, right? Not here. Beth was his mom, the only one he knew.

“Why did I end up here?” She fought the emptiness in her chest.

“I don’t know.” He couldn’t remember. “And I don’t know if you could go back but, once you forget who you were it don’t matter.”

Beth exhaled, watching the clouds travel through the sky. “Guess we have these conversations all the time.”

“Yeah.”

“I keep asking you the same questions.”

“Yeah.”

They usually didn’t get this far. But he didn’t put trust in that anymore. Who knew what the threshold was for her to remember enough to last the next day. Hell, even when they got close enough to touch, when they spent the night together, it hadn’t been enough.

Sometimes he postponed it. Having to explain. Got a kick out of watching her squirm, barely get words out, one foot pointing towards the nearest exit. It was thrilling to sit back as she found him, barely stringing two words before heading out, coming back an hour later. A few months of that got old.

He’d even made her a tape to play when she got up, to give her some idea of what was going on, to try not to have to deal with the barrage of all her questions. That had just blown up in his face. Exactly what he was avoiding was somehow better, as torturous as it was. Doing this face to face. Over and over. A kind of curse he was making amends for again and again and again. It was weeks until he lay down on their bed, his hand on his stomach, her sleeping beside him, that he realized how much it was a curse both of them shared.

In thirty-five years he'd never wanted anyone else. Not like he wanted her. Even at his breaking points, even when she blinked at him for the thousandth time, when she walked out on him, when she refused to hear him, or screamed at him, even when he screamed back, when he destroyed the bar in sheer desperation, when he fell asleep anywhere else but their bedroom, he just wanted her back. He always wanted her back. 

“I wish it wasn’t you who told me,” she sniped.

“Yeah? You think it’d be better coming from your sister?”

“God no. But Ruby--”

Even Annie would be better. Anyone. It just had to be him. Like finding out she was married to him wasn’t enough.

“I don’t even remember how we met.”

Rio’s face broke in a smile. “I do.”

“Where? Where?” She asked him again when he kept laughing.

“On campus.”

Beth leaned back. “You didn’t go to college,” she said, surprising herself at how clear the memory was.

Rio nodded. “But my sister did. She thought it’d be a good match.”

Sylvie, Beth nodded back, her stu--. Her student. 

She scoffed at the memory. It just had to be him, she thought again. The man she ended up with here. Of anyone it could be. Like it made any sense. Maybe it did make sense they’d end up sitting here. Maybe she wouldn’t have believed it coming from anyone else.

They held hands for an hour, watching kids running around the park, kicking soccer balls around, families picnic, dogs leading their owners.

“I want to see m-- the kids,” Beth said and Rio nodded.

Each one, even Kenny, was bursting with stories when they picked them up, Annie and Ben trailing behind, smiles tinged with exhaustion. Marcus and Jane were joined at the hip as usual. Beth was relieved as the two sat beside her. Both of them, each of her kids belonged to her as much as the next. Of course Danny was hers, how could she have doubted it. Or was it Kenny? Who was it who hadn’t been hers? It didn’t matter.

She stayed up as late as she could, walking outside in the darkness. After a few blocks she texted Rio, who joined her, having a neighbor watch over the kids for a few minutes. She waited for him, her eyes alert. Rio had cautioned her this was a world like any other. If something happened to her here she’d be hurt like anywhere else. He didn’t know what would happen if she got hurt badly when she still didn’t remember who she was, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.

She’d spoken with Ruby, who was still confused and glad to hear from her. Beth brought up stories she knew belonged to the reality she shared with her best friend, tried to make a joke of what had happened. Ruby didn’t quite believe her, she could tell but still sounded relieved.

“I’m glad you’re not alone,” she said. “You never are. But right now, that someone’s with you.” And that resonated somewhere deeply with Beth in a way she wasn’t sure she understood.

Beth’s eyes widened as she saw Rio appear from around the corner and approach her. Once she’d forget She guessed she wouldn’t feel this way anymore. Wouldn’t mourn the person she was before, she thought, watching people pass her, arguing laughing, walking quietly down the street.

She’d be happy. She was happy. She saw it in how the kids talked with their dad and with her. There was the arguing, carryover tension that was there. Of fights that weren’t resolved, issues that had not been discussed, words that needed to be said that weren’t. That carried, that always carried. But somehow, even with what wasn’t said, there was honesty, there was trust. It wasn’t real but it was, memories of disciplining the kids together, of talking of their finances. She knew what was in their accounts, knew the loans they had taken out.

As she leafed through the albums even later that night, after all the kids turned in, having finally found the courage to pick them up, she was relieved. She invited Rio to join her and the sat side by side, edging closer together, and she’d point to a photo every now and then, bringing up what happened as if she’d always known it, Rio laughing beside her, making a jab, earning a snide remark back. That didn’t stop but slowly affection crept in too, almost taking over.

What would it be to forget completely? Could she do it? What would it mean if she wasn’t who she’d been for the last 42 years? Maybe she wasn’t ready yet. Maybe she wasn’t sure she wanted to give it up. The comfort of what was known, the confidence that the only person she was was the person she had been. The fear of losing it. The comfort of her five children.

So was the comfort she found in this second story house. So was this yard with the vegetable garden they grew each summer, her and Rio negotiating over just what they should grow and where the tomatoes would get the best sun as the the kids ran around them before giving up and starting to plant seeds themselves, as if they were magic beans while their parents still debated.

She stood in front of him in the bedroom, sun peeking the room brighter and brighter adding color to the dressers and the love seat and the bed as the morning uncovered like a blanket. It wouldn’t be long before the kids would be up.

The syllabus she labored on. Lectures she'd prepared. The playhouse Rio had built for the kids. The solitude she and him found as they lay on a blanket, fireflies hovering over them, Beth’s flowers blooming in festive patterns around them, the trees swaying gently, hearing something clang and bang in the kitchen and argue to each other surely it was your child behind the cacophony.

His fingers pushed a strand of her hair and she lifted on her tiptoes and gave him the gentlest kiss she’d given anyone, not even pulling away an inch before her lips reached for his again.

Holding hands before one of them gave in and got up to investigate, giving the other a few minutes of quiet before a child collided with their stomach, wanting to play or enjoy some time alone.

She felt it, the second he gave in, that he pulled her to him and hissed. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, and he let her before pulling her back flush against him, not letting her break the kiss. Even though there was no place to hide they let themselves confess, only a little. Whispered each other’s names.

When she woke up he was lying beside her.

**Author's Note:**

> I loooooooooooooove when fantasy shows get wormholes/alternate or parallel universes/groundhog day. And when one or more character is aware of what’s happening?? Gimme. Sadly the closest we’d ever get on GG would be fake dating (GIVE ME, GIVE IT TO ME NOW) but this idea just sparked itself into a story.
> 
> 2/16/2021 edited to add a few details/clarity/grammar.


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